


If You Do, If I Do

by noceur



Category: GOT7
Genre: Heavy Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-29
Updated: 2015-09-29
Packaged: 2018-04-24 01:08:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4899709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noceur/pseuds/noceur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>jaebum's jealousy is fucking terrible and jinyoung's not one to back down too easily either. unfortunately, it's their relationship that has to pay the price.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You Do, If I Do

**Author's Note:**

> i'm loving their new song to pieces and really, who wasn't expecting angsty fics from it?
> 
> [lj](http://sleepydaydreams.livejournal.com/13775.html) link.

jaebum makes another dent in their table.  
  
they're both screaming now, shouting profanities and accusations at each other. jinyoung has tears streaming down his face and jaebum has blood running down his clenched fist. neither one of them are willing to back down.  
  
the room's littered with shattered glass on the floor, upturned furniture and broken hearts.  
  
"he's my friend, jaebum!"  
  
"who the fuck would cling to their friend like that? you're always fucking hugging him or kissing his cheek! even in front of me." jaebum's jaw is tense as he grits out the last words. jinyoung's eyes dim slightly before a bigger fire reflects from within them.  
  
"it's always about you, isn't it? i'm not a thing to own, jaebum! i'm a fucking human! for the last time, i love mark but he's my friend and  _only_  my friend. i'm affectionate to everyone."  
  
"affectionate or just want everyone to focus on you? don't pretend like you're not an attention whore, jinyoung. why shouldn't i doubt that you might be getting fucked by him behind my back?"  
  
the screaming match has stopped but jinyoung's tears still fall. the fire in his eyes has been put out by jaebum's callous words, and there's only hollowness now. jaebum feels like he's swallowed dirt, regret lingering over him.  
  
(two bodies of the same soul, what's venom to one is poison to the other.)  
  
"i can't do this anymore."  
  
jinyoung's quiet whisper buries jaebum's bleeding heart into the ground. the dirt stuck in jaebum's throat pushes through to cover the pieces and leaves him to wonder when exactly their love died when jinyoung brushes past him with red eyes and the invisible blood on his hands where jaebum's heart used to rest.  
  
"don't go."  
  
the words echo from each shard of glass and each surface of thrown furniture to a recipient who isn't there anymore.  
  
the blood from jaebum's hand drips to the ground, and he realises he's lost his soul along with his heart and thinks about just how many things jinyoung had taken from him.  
  
(lies, lies,  _lies_. jinyoung hadn't taken anything from him, jinyoung was his everything that he took for granted.)

 

* * *

 

the second he steps into his studio, jinyoung grabs the artwork closest to him and rips it into shreds.  
  
plenty more of his paintings end up this way, different strips of his memories with jaebum-  _of_ jaebum. a smiling portrait here, a sketch of their morning hugs there, but it's jaebum everywhere and jinyoung feels the urge to clutch them close as much as he wants to erase him from his mind.  
  
(erase the touches on his body, erase the warmth he feels in his heart, erase the memory of copper hair and twin moles on eyelids.)  
  
but it  _hurt_ , goddammit. jaebum's words hurt and they created more wounds than jinyoung has the strength to heal. his hands have gotten too weak to sew the cuts on his heart.  
  
he slides down the wall, hands gripping shreds of what used to be beautiful paintings. tears fill his eyes again, the droplets falling onto the papers and blurring the ink lines.  
  
jinyoung squeezes his eyes shut.  
  
(but he can still see the lines on jaebum's face. the slope of his nose, the curve of his smile and the shape of his tensed jaw as he spat out cruel words.)

 

* * *

  
jaebum reeks of alcohol. he's drunk enough to be kicked out of the bar he'd been in and also drunk enough to head towards jinyoung's studio without second thought.  
  
every muscle of his body remembers the way to jinyoung's most favourite place in the world even if his mind's out of it. but whilst they know twists and turns, it's his mind that knows- even within the fog of his intoxicated brain- that jinyoung's studio is where he would currently be.  
  
however, he's drunk enough to lose control and remember flashes of the cause of the fight between him and jinyoung too.  
  
mark.  
  
mark touching jinyoung, hugging him, kissing him- everything only jaebum should be allowed to do. after all, jinyoung is his, right?  
  
(was his.)  
  
he kicks a bin to the ground, the contents spilling out as easily as his anger. the posters on the walls of the rundown buildings are ripped and flung away, his knuckles turning white but with dots of ripped skin and dried blood.  
  
stumbling back, he thinks about jinyoung and all the words he should've said.  
  
(all the words he shouldn't have.)

* * *

 

jinyoung realises he'd fallen asleep when he wakes up to find jaebum holding him, one hand holding his torso tightly and the other tucked beneath his knees. he catches the stench of alcohol.  
  
"jaebum? what are you doing? put me down!" jinyoung struggles against jaebum's tight hold, pushing the other's chest.  
  
"i'm sorry..." jaebum slurs. jinyoung freezes.  
  
"please... don't sleep... floor's too cold... forgive me... you'll catch a cold."  
  
jinyoung wants to laugh as his eyes becomes glassy again because how can someone want to cry so many times in one day?  
  
they get closer to the sofa placed in another small room in jinyoung's studio and jaebum unconsciously tightens his hold.  
  
(a place that jaebum had insisted jinyoung to use as a resting place so he could get some rest when he had long painting sessions.)  
  
jaebum puts him down gently and jinyoung has to grip the hem of his top to hold back from reaching out to him again. he instead turns his head around so he doesn't have to look at jaebum anymore.

he's concentrating so hard on ignoring jaebum that he's suddenly surprised to feel a warm jacket wrapped around him. he looks down to see the jet black leather of jaebum's favourite jacket. he looks up to see the other's gone.  
  
jinyoung can smell the faint cologne on jaebum's jacket and he shakily holds it over his face. he's exhausted of crying, fighting and hurting. the hot tears create wet patches on the inner lining of the cloth with his fingers still feeling jaebum's warmth on it.  
  
(but he lays his heart out and sees the wounds and bruises. if it wasn't his in the first place, does that mean jaebum is hurting the same?)  
  
"why did you have to hurt me?"  
  
_why did you leave_ , stays on the tip of his tongue.

* * *

 

jaebum stands on the other side of the door, head resting against the wood and listening to jinyoung's tiny whispers. he feels the tears prick his eyes.  
  
"i'm sorry."  
  
_i'll leave if it means you're happier_ , is left in the vacant spot where he'd been standing seconds ago.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in one go so i'm sorry if it's a mess.


End file.
